Salem's Swinging Stars

As seen at the Salem Square Dancing club. Part of a hand-painted sign that reads, "Salem's Swinging Stars".
I imagine that the Swinging Stars are a swing-dancing group which meets at the square-dancing center.

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Safeway Shenannigans

Horseradish. In the yogurt aisle. And apparently it's coming soon.

-F

Tenacious Z!

Many months ago (I think it was October or November) my cohort in crime started making labels on the zebra printer at work.  On one particularly rainy night he made one with an unbrella-toting creature with the apt label that read "rain".   I was on my way out on delivery and I nabbed one

I happened to be delivering to a seedy hotel in town and while I was in the elevator I was struck by the urge to adorn the vertical conveyance with decoration.

I mention that because I went back to that hotel tonight and the sticker was still there.  Not in its entirety, but a great deal of it survived.  You can make out the "N" in the corner.  Ah! The tenacity of zebra labels!

-F 
(mobile upload)

Vikings. In space.

I'm noticing a trend...

Zombie Nazis from Space!

You may ask why. Well, I ask why not?

-F

Invertedhornhead

A very rare creature, indeed.

Grandpa the rat catcher.

One of the neighbors mentioned that he was having problems with a rat. So grandpa decided to get out his old muskrat traps and set them around the yard. These things are awesome! I even got some video of grandpa setting a trap. We'll check them again later tonight. Grandpa says he used to catch as many as a hundred a night in Alaska. They would sell the muskrats for about two dollars apiece. They would even submerge them underwater in such a way that when the swimming muskrats would get caught, the trap would pull them down and the rats would drown.

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Hero and the Dragon

Be brave, and go to battle, most perilous!
The beast draws near with malice unhidden.
A single stroke, carried bold and true.
The monster slain, it hungers no longer.
And for the Hero, all will rejoice.
That in his conquest, peace is certain.

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My Girl

Yeah, I'm pretty excited about it.

Grids

I've been doing these for about a decade. I've only made a few subtle changes over the years, but the original concept has always remained the same.
The drawing itself is based on a series of iterations. And one great deception!

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Ice Cream Cone

I don't think he's being all that sincere.

Nieje

Based on a paper mache sculpture that I purchased at a yard sale one time.

Robot

He is playing a musical instrument, of course.

Directions.

So, a robot walks up to a turtle and asks, "How do I get to the trading post?"

Drumstick

As you can see, he is jealous of the dog's depth-perception.

Alex P

That's his cat, in the corner.

Things You Can't Do When You're Daniel...

Despite what you may have heard, you cannot grow a beard when you're dead.

Octopus Rectangles

Secrets Revealed

Ever wonder how Tonberry was always able to kill you so quickly? His knife (which strangely resembles a calzone-- probably yet another secret yet to be revealed) has been infected with the T Virus!

And the Oxfords? Well, Tonberries are known for their fashion sense, don't you know?

Ozymandias

OZYMANDIAS
I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them on the sand,
Half sunk, a shatter'd visage lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamp'd on these lifeless things,
The hand that mock'd them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

-Percy Bysshe Shelly

Not a strict interpretation of the poem, but more a representation of the poem in light of Hurricane Katrina.

-F

While My Ukulele Gently Weeps

I was thinking about this last night while I was painting and thought I'd post it here, in the off chance that someone in the world hasn't seen it yet. It still makes me so happy!

-F

Pi Pie

Back in Humboldt when I had to take remedial math our professor said we could get extra credit for any project as long as it was math related. So a girl made a Pi-shaped tin and baked a huge pie inside of it. I hope she got an A in the class.

Happy Flying Pig Mosaic

Sun Polyp

Even though I'm the person who actually drew this, I still have no idea what a Sun Polyp is.
That is only one of the reasons why a Sun Polyp is not our mascot.

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No clue.

Do you like fish-sticks?

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Our new mascot.

This is going to be our new mascot. I'm pretty excited. I haven't been on the internet in a while. I've just been posting pictures from my cell phone. Pretty obvious, huh? Anyways, let's have a contest to name our new mascot!

The winner of the contest gets to write the lyrics to our theme song.

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Out on Delivery

Finally, after years of searching, the distant and elusive cousin of the Speed Bump has been found! So I present to you, O world, the rare and dignified Slow Bump!

-F

Insomnia is both hilarious and useful.

It's 5 am. You can't sleep. And you need something to serve as a decent distraction for a few minutes. What do you do? Oh, that's an easy one. You play dress up with your toys and take what would normally be considered embarrassing photos. Meh. This is standard-issue psychotic behavior for an illustrator.

I've been collecting props, so I'd might as well start using them, wouldn't you say? That's a rapier in my hand, in case you were curious. I was having trouble getting it to show through. Oh, the woes of being both model and photographer.

-F

In Transition

As seen in Portland, OR at the intersection of SE Hawthorne and SE 35th.
I wonder what the new sign is going to say.

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Negabird

Negabird says "hi".

I'm in Portland right now, at the Albina Press coffeeshop. Super-fancy. Thinking about checking out the Dollar Scholar later on. Taking the AmTrak to Salem tonight.

Pepsi = Diabetes

Having gone to college in Humboldt County, you can imagine all the great gems I used to stumble across in my day-to-day routine. This is a vandalized soda machine in the Forestry Building.

Bird

This is a bird. I am in Oregon right now because there has been a death in the family. I got my hair cut today.

Tessellation Nation

Via a DECTC Student

Via A.K. Dewdney

Habanero Jack Cheese

I was asked to draw a picture of a mouse. He's offering a piece of cheese to Mr. Washington, but it isn't just any cheese! It's a slice of Tillamook Habanero Jack Cheese. If Mr. Washington has any wits about him, he'll put it on top of sourdough toast with cream cheese and avocado.

Garbage Waitress

She is providing service to the garbage. To say that garbage is being served would be ambiguous at best.

This is a ladybug

I was asked to draw a ladybug working on a phone pole.  This ladybug is a boy and has four tools: a hammer, a screwdriver, a phone, and a mystery tool.  

I figured his extra arms would make up for not having a utility belt.

Cave Creatures

Here are a bunch of creatures in the darkness. They are happy to see you.

Ghost Snail

This is a ghostly snail. He acts as a medium between the spirit world for all kinds of mollusks.

What the brick?

"Will you draw a mushroom dressed up as a carrot?"

First I had to ask why would a mushroom dress up as a carrot? Why would it lower itself to such a base level of existence? Well, then the answer came easy. To confound and avoid an overweight hyper-active plumber.

Of course.

-F

Cheerios Tesselation

All boxes should be part of a tileset.

Cop

This is a picture of a police officer. Sorta.

I drew this about eight or nine years ago.

Giraffe.

I have no idea why, but I was asked to draw a giraffe. As I was trying to think of what I could possibly have the giraffe doing to make it funny (because let's face it, I just can't draw a giraffe standing in a field... that's boring) I remembered a doodle I had in a sketchbook from just over three years ago. Somehow the topic of suicidal giraffes came up and after I picked myself up off of the floor - I fell over imagining a giraffe wandering the savanna in search of something tall enough for him to hang himself from - I doodled the end result. Kind of morbid, but lets face it, it's an insanely funny idea. So, here's an updated version. I may actually have to paint this one of these days.

P.S. I love giraffes. They're one of my favorite animals.

-F

Jacket

A child painted this.

This is 680

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